the feel good drag.

ah you.
always you.
everything just seems to come back to you.
always checking your page.
just to see the new things you say,
or do.
hoping,
youd actually give an interest in me.
cause you dont,
you used to.
but that changed.
after those days away.
it changed,
and to be honest,
i wish itd never happened.
id still be seeing you, like normal.
id still be your baby.
youd still tell me the same words, over and over.
but you cant now.
i havent seen you,
and all i want,
is your hug.
your grip round me.
the saftey i feel when i have your arms round me.
i havent had it,
and im going crazy.

i used you.
i didnt want to.
i didnt mean to.
but i did.
and i know i did.
because , i couldnt make up my fucking mind.
and because i didnt make up my mind,
your no longer there.
and it hurts,
cause all i want is you back.
because if you were back,
id do it over.
itd be differently,
youd be mine, id be yours,
end of.
no ifs, no buts.
just you and me.
but i guess,
karmas coming back to bite me in the arse onces more.
i hate myself for what i did to you.
cause i know you geneiunly loved me.
or at least,
i think you did.
i did and do love you.
and i dont think this will change,
not now.
not after that.
that day.
it was meant to happen.
but then, it changed, after that.

oh well.
i had to learn.


its just amazing how things can change in such a small space of time.
how is it, that you became this and took over in such a small space of time?


Everyone in this town
is seeing somebody else.
Everybody's tired of someone
our eyes wander for help.
Prayers that need no answer now
I'm tired of who I am.
You were my greatest mistake
I fell in love with your sin
Your littlest sin. <3

cause im just one of those ghosts.

been a strange couple weeks,
fights.
bitching.
fallouts.
breakups.
lies.
love.
heartbreak.
rumours.
broken friendships.

its taken almost two months,
since the 7th of may 2010,
that day, the same day, that i completely lost it,
to realise,
whats real,
whats actually here,
my real friends,
whats really worth it.
whats worth clinging onto.
and whats better to simply just let go of.

its still not so clear.
but its clear enough.
for now that is.

maybe its going to stop now.
although i highly doubt it.
i dont know,
nor do i care.
the fights dont bother me.
you lose people.
its life.
you learn to deal with it.
you get to a certain point with it, where you stop caring completely.
and i know have.
after that day.
the 2ND time you broke me.
i just stopped.
about everything.

there is probably only 2 people id geneuinly care about if they left.
and they know who they are.

oh well.
not like it matters.
just...

give me a summer,
without
the bitching
the fights
the fallouts
the rumours
the heart break
the lies.
and everything else.

give me a summer to look forward to. please.


we are just,
misguided ghosts.
travelling endless.
the ones we trusted the most,
pushed us far away.
and there's no one role,
we should not be the same.
but i'm just a ghost,
and still they echo me.
they echo me in circles. <3